The Walmart Commercial

Walmart is running a back to school commercial that just rips my heart out. The concept is of a Mom taking her first grade daughter to the school bus and sending her on her way. Ugh! Even writing about it I get choked up. I am sending my baby to middle school! First grade was nothing compared to this. The lady on the commercial gets to walk her daughter all the way to the bus and watch her get on and gives her a big kiss and hug. Madison and I have talked about how walking to the bus is going to work. She has to catch the bus in an parking lot central to the whole area we live in so I will walk with her but I can't wait right with her. Which I totally understand. But I know that first morning I am going to wish I was right there watching her walk up to those yellow opening doors and climb up the stairs to take her seat alongside a friend. I have such mixed emotions and I don't let on how sad and worried I am about all of this. Madison and I have talked a great deal about how she feels and if she is scared. She is of course anxious but the school has done such a great job of preparing them for the transition she is pretty calm. Hopefully this will be an uneventful transition for her and I am the only one who will have butterflies.
I just cannot believe how fast time has gone by. Four years ago when I went back to school and we decided I would stay home with Madison she was just starting third grade. The plan was by the time I graduated she would be finishing seventh grade and I would go back to work. Now here we are 9 months to go and I am overjoyed about finishing one part of the journey but sad that my stay at home Mom days are dwindling away. Yet I know that it is time to move on to our next chapter. Madison is growing up and as much as I hate to admit it she can take care of herself if I am not home in the afternoon. I just wish I could be the Mom in that darn Walmart commercial who draws a heart on her little girl's hand and sends her off to school knowing her Mom is always with her. Maybe just for me I will draw a heart on one of her folders or inside her backpack just so I know its there.

I fear gas.

 Cooking with gas, specifically on the grill. I love grilled food but the thought of turning on the gas sends me into a panic. We bought the grill so as to cook outside no matter the weather and get that taste. The little bit of charring and sweet juicy meat. However after starting it up just once I figured out an indoor grill will work for me. So here we are 15 years of marriage and I have successfully avoided cooking on the grill. Today as we started dinner the husband decides we should not cook inside since the air conditioner is already running and will just send the cooking smells through the house. GREAT! Tonight's dinner is steak scallops and mixed veggies with rice.  MJ prepares the scallops. She has learned very quickly this one dish. As I watch the husband light the grill I also watch Madison put her pan on the burner and cook with no fear. She is amazing. She cooks the scallops to perfection and the husband gets the steak just how I like it DEAD. As I sit enjoying my dinner made entirely by my two love bugs I realize some fears are a good thing.

A Wierd Summer

Summers for our family usually involve a BBQ at the parent's house every weekend, lots of darts and horse shoes and generally just a good time. This year has been different. Dad's esophagus pooped out and got a hole in it. So when your chief chef and activity director has a tube in his nose down to his stomach which renders him unable to eat, things change. Of course Dad told us we could still do all the things we have done but really we could not. How in the world could we sit and eat in front of the man when he is surviving on a liquid diet? My Dad loves loves food, so to have him not eating more than sucking on a pringle potato chip for the salt or eating the frosting off of a cupcake has been harder than seeing him fight cancer twice. So we have improvised as far as summer fun. We all are wandering around like lost little puppies not sure where to go. We still go and see the parents every weekend but we all do it at different times as to not tire Dad out. We take Mom to yard sales or shopping etc but we never eat at the house. It is very weird. Dad knows we do this and he knows we know he knows but it is just not talked about. It is just apart of our lives right now. He did all this for his grandchildren. He cannot imagine just giving up and not being here to watch them grow. After waiting through the past two months in hopes that he would gain some weight, he had the PET scan. We prepared ourselves that even a little bit of cancer would mean another new chapter. Well, he has no cancer in his body. MIRACLE! So he is going to endure another major surgery to repair the darn esophagus. I am still in awe of the events of the last three months. It has flown by. Summer has a good 6 weeks left. Tonight when I saw my Dad sucking the life out of a pringle watching the Mariners on television I thought to myself if he can embrace this weird Summer so can the rest of us.